When I surveyed 800 young people about their experiences of eating disorders in UK schools, only 20% said that their school felt like a safe and supportive environment for someone suffering from an eating disorder. There were several reasons for this but the number one reason was teasing, rumours and bullying.
And not just from their peers. From the staff as well.
“You might as well go around with ‘freak’ written on your head. Everyone treats you like one. Even if they’re not being horrible then they’re freezing you out ‘cos they don’t know what to say.”
Kelly, Year 9
“My maths teacher joked about me being fat. Now I’m better I can tell it was a joke, back then I was skin and bones but I took him seriously and ate even less that day. Everyone made ‘jokes’ like that the whole time but it’s not funny.”
Michael, Year 11
A serious Issue
Bullying is a serious issue for many eating disorders sufferers. Over 80% of sufferers we spoke to felt they had been subject to bullying at one stage or another. Often they felt, on reflection, that the perpetrator may have meant no harm and might just have been making jokey or flippant comments but it’s important to remember that someone in the grip of an eating disorder, whose brain may be starved, is liable to take things very literally. They are also very over-sensitive to comments about shape and weight and have such distorted concepts of themselves that even as they starve themselves to death they believe they’re fat – and will take ‘fat jokes’ to heart, and act on them.
Bullying triggers and fuels eating disorders
About 40% of pupils I spoke to felt that their eating disorder was triggered or fuelled by bullying or teasing.
“I was always the fat kid at school. It was a running joke for the whole class. They made a point of picking me the very last in PE and the fat jokes were endless. Every time I ate anything I got the p*** taken out of me. In the end I got so depressed about it and scared of eating in front of anyone in case they had a go at me that I just stopped eating. It was hard and I was hungry but I lost weight really fast. It really didn’t take that long to go from being the fat kid to being the REALLY thin kid and I’ve got to be honest, it felt good.”
Lydia, Year 10
Here are a few tips to help you deal with shape and weight related bullying in your school.
Treat all comments, jokes and rumours about shape and weight seriously
It’s never okay to judge someone because of their weight and even jokey comments can have very serious repercussions. Ensure that anyone making such comments is made to understand that this simply isn’t okay and punish them appropriately.
Educate your pupils about eating disorders
Often, at the heart of the problem is a lack of education. Pupils who bully their peers who have eating disorders often turn out to be a little scared or confused about the whole issue. They consider their peer to be different, they don’t understand it and they don’t like it. By proactively teaching pupils about eating disorders you can prevent this and you can remove some of the stigma – this applies to a whole range of mental health issues. After all, you don’t tend to see kids getting bullied for having a broken leg which is a far easier disability to understand than a mental health problem.
Make it easy for pupils to express share their anxieties
Pupils who are being bullied or who are aware that their friends are being bullied need to have an easy outlet they can access in order to share their concerns. Whether this is a particular teacher or an anonymous email address or an open invitation from all form tutors doesn’t matter, what does matter is ensuring pupils know where to turn in a time of need.
Remove the taboo in the staff room
Staff can often make hurtful comments to pupils without even meaning too – this can sometimes come as a consequence of a pure lack of understanding. In many schools, talking about eating disorders is taboo and this can leave many staff just as confused and un-educated as the children. Whilst they may not intend to victimise the pupil in question it can be very easy to do or say the wrong thing if you’ve not been trained in how to respond in a given situation. Some pupils complained that their teachers were too nice and it marked them out from their peers and made them feel victimised!
“Just treat me like I’m normal okay? I’m trying so hard to forget it all, then you go and put on your kid gloves and treat me all softly softly and make me feel like the freak of the class. Stop it. Give me detention if I’m bad. Give me bad marks if I get stuff wrong but whatever you do, stop treating me like a freak.” Tom, Year 13
Have a clear and consistent policy
All incidents of bullying need to be treated clearly and consistently and staff and pupils need to be well aware of what the repercussions for this type of behaviour are. You need to aim to foster an environment where bullying is not considered okay. Where pupils feel they can share their concerns with a member of staff and where everyone feels safe coming to school every day.
