Once you’re aware of the risk factors and warning signs for eating disorders you may find yourself noticing pupils in your class who cause you some concern. You might be anxious that they could be in the early stages of developing an eating disorder - but when should you say something? Should you sit back and monitor the situation until you’re sure there’s a problem or should you speak to them as soon as possible? It’s a difficult question and as much as anything it will depend on your relationship with the pupil. Here are my tips for working out what to do next, once you have that niggly feeling that something’s not quite right.
Talk to other members of staff
My first port of call would often be to talk to other members of staff. If your school has an eating disorders policy in place you will have a member of staff who oversees issues arising related to eating disorders. It would be worth a conversation with him or her as it’s possible that there is a known problem that is already being dealt with. It’s also worth talking to other teachers who know the pupil well, just so see if they’ve noticed anything amiss or if they are aware of any other reasons for the pupil’s change in behaviour or appearance.
Try and get some information from their friends
Try and give the pupils’ friends the opportunity to talk to you about any concerns they might have. Don’t ask too many leading questions, but rather, provide them with an opportunity to tell you if there’s something on their mind. You could try saying things like:
“I notice Amy’s not been hanging around with you guys as much at break time, is everything okay?”
Or
“Amy’s awfully quiet at the moment, is everything alright at home?”
Or
“Is there anything I can do to help Amy? She just doesn’t seem herself at the moment, I wonder if I can help?”
Often, if there is a problem, the pupil’s friends will be aware that something is amiss and will have been worrying themselves, but not have known what to do. More often than not they will invite the opportunity to share their concerns with you and you’re likely to get a much better insight into the problem this way.
Don’t wait too long
The key thing to remember with eating disorders is that the more swiftly support is put in place, the better the long term prognosis. So if you’re at all concerned about a pupil then a ‘watching waiting’ approach isn’t really appropriate. After all, what are you waiting for – concrete proof that the pupil is making themselves sick, or are you watching until you’re sure that they’ve lost at least two clothes sizes? Far better that you go with your gut instinct and address the situation sooner. There is nothing to be lost this way. If your fears are misplaced, the pupil will be able to put your mind at rest and explain the reasons for the behaviours you’ve been noticing. And if you’re right, then you’re likely to find that in the early stages of an eating disorder the pupil will be scared and confused and far more likely to invite some form or help or support. If you wait until the illness is more entrenched the conversation is likely to go very differently as the eating disorder may have a real grip and you may be met with more resistance.
Create opportunities for them to speak to you
Rather than hauling the pupil to one side or insisting that they stay behind after class for an unspecified meeting with you, try to create more natural opportunities for the pupil to talk to you privately. This will mean they are more relaxed and if you’re able to engineer a situation where they feel they’ve instigated the conversation they will feel more in control and be more likely to open up. This doesn’t need to be anything too clever, simply asking them to stay behind for five minutes to discuss last night’s homework is enough – then you should actually discuss the homework before asking casually “are you okay? You seem awfully quiet” or similar, which will hopefully lead to them talking to you, but if not make sure you extend an open invitation for them to talk to you if they need help. “Well I’m glad you’re okay, bit if ever you do need someone to talk to then remember you can always find me in my room on Tuesday break times.” This will give the pupil the chance to go away and think about whether they’re ready to share their problems and gives them a concrete time and place to return to when they’re ready. Just make sure you are where you say you’ll be.
Don’t be confrontational
Whatever you do, don’t just barrel up to the pupil in question and say “I’m worried you might have an eating disorder.” All this will do is alienate you from the pupil and remove any possibility that they might have been willing to confide in you. In fact I’d advocate not using the words ‘eating disorder’ at all. Instead try to create an environment where you do most of the listening and just allow the pupil to talk. You might not get to the nub of the problem during your first conversation but at this point trust is the most important thing. Invite them to come and talk to you again tomorrow or next week. Soon you’ll find that if the pupil trusts you they will allow you enough insight to plan what you need to do next.
What next
I wrote a post previously about what you should say if a pupil confides in you about their eating disorder which will give you lots of ideas about what to do next.
