It’s always preferable to inform a parent of their child’s eating disorder in a face-to-face meeting where you can read and respond to body language. However, it’s not always possible and you may end up having to have the conversation on the phone. In which case the following points are worth bearing in mind:
Choose the most appropriate parent
Ask the pupil which of their parents would be better to speak to. They are likely to have a good idea about which of their parents is most likely to supportive, understanding and comfortable discussing such a sensitive issue.
Plan what to say
Make a list of the points you want to cover beforehand – it can be very easy to become flustered on the phone if the conversation is difficult, or to fail to mention certain things if the conversation goes off in a different direction than you’d planned for.
Call at a good time
Pre-arrange a good time to call so that both you and the parent have time to talk. This is not a conversation that can be rushed.
Focus on the call
Always call from a landline whilst sitting at your desk. Focus only on the call – that means turning of your mobile and music, not doodling. Concentrate on listening and responding the parent as well as putting across the points you need to share.
Get to the point
Don’t beat about the bush; the parent will want to know why you’re calling – they won’t hear anything you say until you get to the point of the call.
Ask how they feel about things
Invite the parent to share their concerns; they are likely to be aware of a problem but may not have had a chance to talk about it before now.
Ask for their support
Make it clear that you’re calling both to inform them about their child’s eating disorder, and also to ask for their help and support during their child’s treatment and recovery.
Let them ask questions
Give them plenty of space to explore their concerns or ask questions. It’s okay to leave a few moments silence whilst they mull things over – they will need time to think as this is a lot of information to take in.
Suggest a face to face meeting
Encourage them to meet you in person to discuss further. Whilst they may not have been able to make it into school for this initial phone call, it is likely that they will want to meet face to face now that they understand the gravity of the situation.
Other posts which might be of interest
Tackling the eating disorders taboo in school
What can teachers do to help pupils with eating disorders?
Overcoming pupil objections to informing parents about their eating disorder
Eating disorders policy for use in your school
