Posted one month ago
Dear Say my name,
I recognise so clearly what you describe, it seems to be left to us as parents to manage the eating and the truth is that is a very complex and difficult role, it is impossible I would say to be dispassionate about it. My daughter was the same as yours she so wanted to restore to get out of that cold place, and weighing day was awful, she would hate herself if she had lost weight, but she would really hate herself if she had gained weight even though I know that she knew how important it was. And as a mum she knew exactly which buttons to press with me and so I spent as much time crumbling as I tried to keep to the plan, to keep times rigid and portion size exact.
I would ask you is there anywhere where you can get support? so that you can be clear on your role, or even just somewhere to go off and scream and shout and then come back calm and keep a consistent supportive approach. I would also say when a day goes pear shaped just let it go and start from scratch the next day, don't let it dampen your expectation.
I would also advocate keeping asking the support services what they can do to help, I know that thy are stretched but sometimes you have to make it clear to them what you need and what you feel your daughter needs.
Other tips; plan the menu away from mealtimes, and if your daughter finds the portion size too huge maybe negotiate a gradual increase in portion size. If she will do it its can be useful to involve her in the menu planning it might help.
Let me know how you get on