Posted 3 years ago
Oh Chazzer, I am very sorry to read of your daughter's struggle, but hopefully the insight that you may have from your sister may help.
I would suggest involving the school, so that when she is at school there is a place that she can go if her anxieties become huge also maybe a place to eat her lunch with an adult so that she is supported at a stressful time.
I wonder if you have tried doing a day plan with your daughter, so agree the menu with her the day before, agree times and what food, how much food and when she will be expected to eat, Try not to let the meal start time run over as she will begin to get anxious as she sees the mealtime getting closer and if it is delayed then her anxiety will increase. Keep meal times as calm and predictable as possible. After the meal take time to be with her, maybe walking the dog, playing a board game or a game of cards, anything, just something that will distract her from thinking about what she has just eaten. Your daughter's eating disorder may have developed as a desire for her to control her feelings about something in her life so it would be useful for her to have some form of counselling and support, hopefully CAMHS(Children adolescent mental health services), will be working with you and arranging this.