Posted 9 months ago
Hi ,
I do know exactly how you feel, but you must not blame yourself; for my daughter restriction physically started after she had an allergy test at a Chinese high street health shop - it seemed a good thing at the time and we did it as she was having problems with her skin that were bringing her down, I was seeing her confidence drain away, the allergy test came back with loads of reactors so she cut them, out the weight started to go, people were saying you look good; all the time she was learning how to deny herself. I stood by throughout this, thinking it'll pass, she will soon be back on her whole pizzas... if only. Anorexia seemed to move in overnight I let her go off to uni, I was petrified, she was very ill. But I still let her do it, she soon had to come home and then go into a unit. To answer your post I think that we are very used to trusting our daughters, mine is smart, sensible and intelligent and I had never really had anything to do with eating disorders. It would be easy to label my actions as foolish but in truth it was all about not having a clue what this illness was. I have been learning ever since. She is recovering and doing well, and as she has recovered she has shared the emotions and feelings that have dominated her - she still suffers from low self self-esteem. She tells me that ED is about control.
A lot of people who know have said not to blame myself for a lack of action, for a while I thought that they were just being kind, but as the illness progressed and latterly as my daughter recovered I realise that there is no blame. For you it is just about supporting her and working to recovery. Hopefully you have started treatment in good time as all research says that the sooner you get treatment the better. Wish you the very best